


A New Look at Things

by kirani



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Coming Out, F/F, Feelings Realization, Femslash, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Female Character, What you'd expect from college kids, accidental outting, no magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-09-12
Packaged: 2019-06-07 01:44:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15208118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kirani/pseuds/kirani
Summary: Gwen gets dumped by Arthur and slowly realizes that what she misses most about their relationship isn't him... it's his half-sister, Morgana.





	1. Chapter 1

“Hey,” Gwen smiled. “Ready for the movie?”

“Yeah, uh, just a moment, you wanna come in?”

“Sure.”

Gwen sat on her boyfriend’s couch as he slipped back into the bedroom. She heard the rustling of clothing and the sound of his bare feet on the floor boards.

“Arthur?” she called. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said, emerging from the bedroom. “Listen, can we talk?”

Gwen smiled sadly.

“You’re breaking up with me, aren’t you.”

It wasn’t a question.

“What? How did you know?” he spluttered.

“You’re not particularly good at hiding your feelings, love,” Gwen said.

“I’m sorry,” Arthur sighed and flopped onto the couch next to her. “I just... I think we should...”

He let the sentence trail off into a heavy silence.

“Break up,” Gwen finished for him. “Can I ask why?”

“I don’t want to string you along. I just don’t feel—“

Gwen cut him off. “Don’t give me bullshit, Pendragon.”

“I think I’m in love with Merlin,” Arthur blurted, then slapped his hand over his mouth. “I can’t believe I said that,” he said through his fingers.

Gwen nodded solemnly. She stood.

“Gwen?” Arthur looked up at her, his cheeks flushing.

“I’ll see you later, Arthur.” She crossed to the door and had her hand on the knob when she paused and turned back to her now ex-boyfriend. “I think he’s in love with you, too.”

Arthur’s jaw dropped and Gwen opened the door and left him standing there.

~

“Gwen?”

“In here, Merlin,” Gwen called, pausing her movie.

“Oh my god,” Merlin flew into the room and threw his arms around Gwen. “I just heard. Why didn’t you tell me? Are you alright?”

Gwen gave him a quick squeeze and released him. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Merlin looked at her appraisingly.

“Really. Honestly it didn’t surprise me all that much.”

“But you’ve been together since freshman year! You’re Arthur and Guinevere! Your love is eternal!”

Gwen rolled her eyes. This was Merlin’s favorite fairy tale. They were the famous trio, King Arthur, Queen Gwen, and their loyal sorcerer, Merlin. Ever since the three found each other in the same maths course freshman year he had been doodling them as the medieval trio and telling elaborate stories of their deeds conquering the world. Or term paper. Whichever was more fitting. But that was two years ago. Two years of an increasingly distanced relationship.

“It’s a college relationship. And now it’s over. It’s not big of a deal.”

Merlin sighed heavily and flopped onto the couch next to her.

“ _What_ are you watching. Is this... _The Devil Wears Prada_?” Merlin looked from the TV to his best friend in disbelief. “You’re supposed to be crying over _The Notebook_ or some other sappy romance!”

“That would require me to be upset over the end of my relationship. Which I am not.”

“Oooooh, you’re in denial,” Merlin said, standing up. “Up you get; we’re going for ice cream.”

“Merlin,” Gwen sighed. “I’m fine. Really.”

“Nope, won’t take no for an answer,” Merlin held out his hands and hauled her up from the couch.

~

Several hours, an enormous ice cream, a several vodka tonics later, Gwen spilled the truth. Well, part of it.

“He’s gay, Merlin.”

Merlin choked on his vodka cranberry.

“WHAT?!” he shouted. “How long have you known? How long has _he_ known? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME THAT HUNK WAS GAY?”

Gwen gave him a pointed look.

“Sorry, he was your boyfriend. Right. Sorry,” Merlin blushed and drank deeply from his cocktail.

“So?” he tried again after a moment.

“So what?”

“How long have you known?”

“Oh,” Gwen sipped her drink thoughtfully. “I suppose I’ve known for a while. He’s never seemed to actually want to _be_ with me, you know?”

“Gross, didn’t need to know that,” Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Ugh, no, that’s not what I meant. I just meant that it always felt like he started dating me and then realized he was… gay,” she caught herself, “and didn’t know what to do about it.”

“So why now?”

“Dunno,” Gwen lied.

“Huh,” Merlin mused, stirring the ice at the bottom of his glass with his straw. “Oooh so he’s a virgin!”

Gwen glared at him.

“I’ll get you another drink,” he smiled and swept off to the bar to flirt with the bartender. Gwen just rolled her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Gwen awoke with a blazing headache to her phone ringing.

“Hullo?”

“Gwen, dear, don’t tell me my idiot brother dumping you means you’re standing me up for Sunday brunch? It would break my little heart, it would.”

Gwen was awake.

“Shit, Morgs, I’m so sorry!” She had completely forgotten about her brunch plans with Arthur’s older sister. “It’s not Arthur, it was Merlin.”

There was silence on the other end of the line.

“He told you?”

“Not that, well yes that, but also Merlin insisted on taking me out to drown my supposed sorrows in vodka and I’m massively hungover and overslept.”

“He actually told you?”

“Well, yes, I wasn’t going to just let him give me some bullshit tropey answer after two years. So he told me,” Gwen sighed. Then she realized Morgana must have known for longer than her. “Wait, when did he tell you?”

“Oh I don’t really remember,” Morgana lied. “It’s not important.”

“It bloody well is important!” Gwen was sitting up in bed now. “Why didn’t you give me a warning?”

“I thought you knew!”

“I had a hunch but still! I thought we were friends!”

“Gwen,” Morgana began, but Gwen hung up on her. Her head was pounding to the beat of the strobe lights from the dance club she and Merlin had ended up at around 2:00 in the morning and she had no desire to listen to more bullshit right now.

Her phone rang again but she ignored it and covered her head with a pillow.

When it had stopped buzzing she became aware that someone else was in her room. The mattress dipped.

“Gwen?”

It was Merlin.

“Oh thank God, it’s just you, Merlin. I thought I brought home some rando,” Gwen said, pulling her pillow off her head.

Merlin laughed softly but he was looking at her phone.

“What was that about?”

“Morgana. We had Sunday brunch plans. Which I slept through in my hungover state,” Gwen brushed off his question. “And she knew Arthur was gonna dump me and didn’t tell me.”

“No, what were you saying about _me_?”

“That you took me out on the town?”

“Before that,” Merlin looked at her meaningfully.

“Eavesdrop much?” Gwen rolled her eyes.

“Gwen…”

“It’s… complicated. And not my place to tell.”

“Shall I call Morgana then?”

Gwen laughed. “Like you’d be able to get anything out of her.”

Her phone pinged.

“Speak of the devil,” Gwen murmured as she opened the text. She read it aloud to Merlin in a mockingly posh accent, “Gwen, I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you but I didn’t find it my place to out my brother or put you in such an awkward situation with—“

She cut off abruptly, turning her phone screen off and tossing it on the bed. Merlin looked at her, looked at the phone and grabbed for it.

“Ahem, ‘An awkward situation with Merlin, especially since he wasn’t planning on telling you he was the reason for the break up’ OH MY GOD GWEN YOU LITTLE MINX,” Merlin shouted.

“Not my story to tell,” Gwen shrugged. “I shouldn’t have even outed him but _someone_ got me drunk,” she glared at Merlin.

“So,” Merlin was rereading the text. “What does that mean?”

“He didn’t tell me he wanted to break up because he was gay. He told me he wanted to break up because he… had feelings,” she censored herself. “For you.”

“Holy shit,” Merlin fell heavily back onto Gwen’s bed.

Gwen looked at him for a moment, then patted his knee.

“Right,” she said. “I need coffee.”

Merlin heartily agreed.

~

As they were finishing up their toast and coffee, Gwen’s phone rang again.

She glanced at it.

“Arthur.”

“Oh no,” Merlin whispered.

“I’m not answering it,” Gwen reassured him.

“Good,” he sighed, taking another swig of coffee.

But as soon the screen went blank, it lit up again.

“Whyyyyyy,” Merlin moaned, burying his head in his arms.

Gwen hesitantly answered it.

“Arthur, I am too hung over for pleasant conversation.”

_“Oh Gwen, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have dumped you like that—“_

“Arthur, stop. Please. I really am hungover. I don’t want to talk about this right now. Just leave me to drink my coffee in peace.”

_“But I really am sorry, I feel like an arse—“_

“Well you are an arse but it seems _all_ of my friends are so I’ll let it slide. Listen, I’ve got to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

_“But Morgana said—“_

“I do _not_ want to talk about Morgana. I’m hanging up now, Arthur.”

She silenced whatever fresh plea he tried to make and joined Merlin in hiding her head in her arms.

“What now?” Merlin mumbled from under his arm.

Gwen looked up. “What do you mean?”

“What do we do now?”

“Right now, I’m going to take a shower,” Gwen announced, standing up. “And I’m still mad at you.”

Merlin pretended to be offended but he deserved it.


	3. Chapter 3

After a long, hot shower, Gwen felt slightly human. She emerged to find Merlin watching cartoons on her couch and dropped onto the couch next to him.

“What did you say?” Merlin asked.

“Hmm?” Gwen hummed.

“When he told you he...”

Gwen turned to look at him, but Merlin stared resolutely at the TV.

“I said I understood and left, pretty much.”

“Pretty much?”

Gwen hummed again, this time in the affirmative.

“Did you tell him anything else?”

Now it was Gwen’s turn to stare at the television.

“Gwen!” Merlin insisted.

“No, I didn’t say anything else,” she finally lied. “Why? Is there something I should have?”

Finally, she turned to look at him with a mischievous look on her face.

“No,” Merlin blushed. “Of course not.”

“Merlin,” Gwen said, her voice softer. “I really am not that broken up about this. And if there’s something you want to say, you should say it. I promise you won’t hurt my feelings.”

“It’s nothing,” Merlin mumbled.

“Mer-“ Gwen started again but was interrupted by the buzzer, making them both groan.

Gwen got up and pressed the button to listen.

“Gwen? It’s Morgana. Please let me in.”

Gwen stared at Merlin, clearly at a loss for what to do.

“Oh just let her posh arse in,” Merlin sighed.

She buzzed the door open and a moment later Morgana was at the door to the flat.

“Hullo Morgs,” Gwen smiled weakly.

“Gwen, darling,” Morgana smiled broadly, kissing Gwen on each cheek before stepping back. “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean... Oh. Hello Merlin.”

“He knows,” Gwen clarified. “The arse read your text,” she added, sticking her tongue out at Merlin.

“Sorry,” Merlin mumbled.

“Please, come in,” Gwen finally relented, moving aside for Morgana to enter her flat.

“I brought ice cream,” Morgana offered as soon as the door closed.

“Why does everyone think I’m so depressed about this?” Gwen looked from Morgana to Merlin.

“It was a two year relationship that ended with your boyfriend coming out to you?” Merlin offered.

“By telling you he was in love with your best friend?” Morgana added.

“Woah, wait, what?” Merlin stood suddenly. “In love with? Nobody said anything about the L word!”

“Shit,” Morgana said. “Um, yeah that’s what he said to me, but I really shouldn’t be talking about this.”

“Okay, screw this, I’m going over there,” Merlin stalked to the door.

“Merlin, no, please, don’t make this worse,” Morgana pleaded.

“That ship sailed a while ago,” Merlin huffed, pulling on his Docs. “Gwen, I’ll see you later. Do you want me to drag her out with me?” he asked, jerking a thumb at Morgana.

“No, it’s fine,” Gwen sighed. “Be careful, Merlin. Call me if you need me, alright?”

He nodded and stepped in to hug her tightly.

“You,” he pointed at Morgana. “You and I are not done.”

As Morgana gaped at him, he stomped out the door and slammed it behind him.

“What was all that about?” Morgana asked after a moment of strained silence.

“There’s... there’s some unresolved shit going on there.” Gwen explained. “Not that he’s ever said anything, but... I know there’s something going on there.”

“Alright,” Morgana accepted. After a moment she continued. “Should we... should we go after him?”

“I am way too hungover for Merlin drama. Arthur can handle him,” she flopped onto the couch and patted next to her. Morgana chuckled and joined Gwen on the couch.

~

Merlin didn’t call. Gwen texted him a couple of times but didn’t get a response.

Morgana continued to offer all sorts of stereotypical responses to a friend’s breakup until Gwen kicked her out.

“Gwen, I just—“

“Out!”

Morgana sighed and got to her feet. “Call me?”

“Maybe,” Gwen said, staring resolutely at the wall.

“Okay. See you around, Gwen,” Morgana said, finally leaving her in peace.

As the door clicked closed behind her, Gwen sighed and flopped bodily onto the couch.

“This is such a mess,” Gwen mumbled to herself.

Her best friend and her ex-boyfriend? She supposed it wasn’t such a huge deal. Weirder things had happened in her life. But Morgana being all supportive and weird about it? When she clearly knew all along? What was happening?

She got up to make herself more coffee and fix up some eggs while she was at it.

~

As she was finishing her eggs and coffee, Merlin finally texted back.

_Arthur is such an arse_

**Thought we had established that already** , Gwen responded.

_Moreso than usual_ , came the response, followed by a string of emojis ranging from angry to crying to some that Gwen didn’t really know what they were supposed to portray.

_Sorry, I’m the worst best friend ever_

Gwen sighed and hit _call_ on the phone.

“Hi Gwen,” Merlin answered immediately, sounding miserable.

“Merlin, you are not the worst best friend ever, I promise. Care to fill me in on what my arse of an ex said to you? Do I need to beat him up? Because I can and I will.”

“Oh, God, no, please don’t,” Merlin whined. “He’s just all upset because he... well because he didn’t get to tell me himself.”

“That’s fair,” Gwen said. “You did eavesdrop and then bombard him in his own home about it.”

“Wait, you’re supposed to be on my side!”

“You got me drunk and I outted him. Least I can do is stand up for him.”

Gwen could hear Merlin gaping at her.

“I guess when you put it that way,” he said after a long moment.

Gwen nodded sagely but regretted it when her head began to pound again.

“Look, he’s in a weird space. We all are. Give him some space. He’ll figure his shit out.”

Merlin moaned and Gwen laughed.

“Talk to you later, Merlin. I need a nap.”

“Okay, bye Gwen.”

Gwen ended the call then stared at her phone for a long moment before dialing Arthur’s number.

“Gwen?”

“Hi Arthur. I’m sorry I outed you to Merlin.”

“It’s okay,” he sighed.

“It’s not, but thank you. And I’m sorry I let him bombard you with questions – don’t deny that I know he did.”

Another sigh. “He did.”

“I told him to back off,” Gwen said after a moment.

“Oh.”

“Should I not have?”

“It’s not that, it’s... complicated.”

“Yeah,” Gwen said. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve been better,” Arthur admitted with a self-deprecating chuckle.

“I’ll bet,” Gwen replied. “Let me know if you need anything, okay? Just because we’re not dating anymore doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”

“I don’t deserve you, Gwen Smith.”

“Well, I’m here anyways,” Gwen said with a smile.

“Thanks.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short update today, but this chapter was giving me trouble

_Brunch?_

Gwen stared at the phone in her hand. Did Morgana really still want to have brunch with her after she kicked her out of her apartment?

_Sure. When?_

Gwen bit her lip and watched the dots appear on the screen again.

_Tomorrow? I’ll pick you up at 11._

_Sounds good!_

Gwen locked her phone and set it down, then immediately picked it back up to text Merlin.

_Morgana wants to get brunch tomorrow._

_So?_ Came the reply.

_Why????_

The phone lit up with Merlin’s drunk face and Gwen answered it.

 _“What does ‘why’ mean?”_ Merlin said in lieu of greeting.

“Why does she want to get brunch? Like, first, she’s my ex’s sister. Second, I was hella rude to her and basically kicked her out of my apartment yesterday. Third, WHY.”

 _“Gwen, darling, what’s going on?”_ Merlin said softly after a pause.

“Nothing’s going on, I’m just really confused why she—“

 _“Yes you said that bit,”_ Merlin cut her off. _“What’s so confusing, though? You’re friends?”_ The last bit ended with a question mark like Merlin was second-guessing himself, too.

“I don’t know if we are, I mean, we just talk to each other because I’m dating her brother, and we talk about him a lot, or, well, we did talk about him a lot, and, are we friends? I don’t know if we are but I guess morgana thinks we are, so, OH MY GOD MERLIN WHAT DO I WEAR?”

There’s a brief pause on the line and then Merlin bursts into giggles.

_“Gwen Smith, do you have a crush on Morgana?”_

“Shit,” Gwen whispered. “Shit, shit, fuck, shit, FUCK!”

 _“I’m coming over,”_ Merlin said through his giggles.

~

Gwen paced her apartment floor as she waited for Merlin to make it across campus. When the buzzer finally went off, she slammed it a bit too hard in her nervousness.

Merlin finally got to her door and she whipped it open after a single knock. She knew she looked crazy. But when she saw Merlin’s face, she burst into tears.

“Oh, Gwen,” Merlin sighed and folded her into a hug.

When she had calmed down a little, he led her to the couch and gently sat down, patting the seat beside him.

“Talk to me?”

“I think I have a crush on Morgana,” Gwen whispered.

“I think you do, but why are you freaking out?”

“Well, first of all, she’s a _girl_.”

Merlin nodded. “She is indeed.”

“I’m straight!”

“I’m not sure you are, dear.”

Gwen groaned and flopped her face into her hands.

“Second, she’s my ex’s sister,” she mumbled into her hands.

“I don’t think that’s really the problem you think it is, Gwen.”

Gwen looked up at Merlin where he sat with a hand on her back. “How can you be sure?”

“I can’t,” Merlin conceded. “But you and Arthur ended things amicably. She clearly still wants to hang out with you. I don’t think it will be a problem.”

Gwen looked at him and chewed her lip for a moment.

“Won’t know unless you try?” Merlin offered.

“Why do you always have to be right?” Gwen sighed finally.

“It’s a gift,” Merlin smiled.


	5. Chapter 5

“Gwen, darling!” Morgana greeted her warmly when she entered their favorite brunch haunt the next morning.

“Hullo Morgs,” Gwen gave a small smile, reciprocating the hug before flopping into the booth. “I’m sorry I snapped at you, I really am, it was just so much happening at once and I’d already been through it all with Merlin and –“

Gwen stopped suddenly and stared down at the table where Morgana had captured her fidgeting hands.

“Gwen, it’s alright,” Morgana said earnestly, looking at Gwen until she met her eye. “You’re allowed to be upset after a breakup.” Then she gave Gwen’s fingers a squeeze and released them. “Even if it was from my idiot of a brother.”

Gwen smiled a real smile then, slipping easily back into their banter.

“He’s not so bad,” she filled in obligingly.

“You don’t have to defend him anymore, you know,” Morgana raised an eyebrow and Gwen felt her face flush.

“Darling, I’m just kidding you,” Morgana said lightly, picking up her menu with a tight smile. “What are you ordering?”

~

After the mimosas were empty and the plates were cleared, the two women lingered over their coffees. Gwen felt a little looser and smiled freely.

“I’m glad we’re still friends,” Gwen says after a lull.

“Of course we are,” Morgana said with a smile. “Not letting Arthur ruin our brunch! Best part of the week!”

Gwen took a deep breath. “We could... hang out not at brunch?”

Morgana paused, studying her face. “Are you asking me on a date?”

“What? No!” Gwen blushed. “I just, wanna hang out. With you. More.”

Morgana looked... disappointed?

“Unless, did you want to go on a date?” Gwen amended.

“Don’t even worry about it,” Morgana said, her smile tight again. “Of course we should hang out more.”

Gwen smiled back and tried not to look pained.

“Glad you weren’t asking me out though, darling,” Morgana said quickly. “Wouldn’t want to be a rebound.” She winked at Gwen.

Gwen felt her face heat up.

“Right. Definitely don’t want to rebound.”

~

After brunch, Gwen went straight to Merlin’s apartment and flopped face first onto his bed.

“Oh honey, what happened?” he asked, rubbing small circles into her back.

“I asked her out and she said no,” Gwen replied, muffled into the bed.

“Oh no she did not!” Merlin gasped.

Gwen tilted her head away from the pillows. “I asked if she wanted to hang out other than brunch and she basically said that she was glad I wasn’t asking her out because she wouldn’t want to be a rebound. I hadn’t even really asked her out and she rejected me! Why is this so hard?”

“Wait, you did ask her out? Or you didn’t?” Merlin paused his back rubbing.

“Well, I asked her if she wanted to hang out but, y’know, left it kinda open ended, and she turned me down before I could even really ask her out! I was trying to test the waters and she slammed the door in my face.”

“Mixed metaphors aside, Gwen, I don’t know that that was actually a rejection,” Merlin said.

“How is that not a rejection,” Gwen asked.

“She _said_ she didn’t want to be your rebound. That’s different.”

Gwen face planted back into the pillows.

“I hate you, Merlin,” she huffed.

“I’m not the one that suggested you ask her out less than a week after you broke up with Arthur!”

Gwen just groaned.


	6. Chapter 6

Gwen was studying at her favorite coffee shop on campus when she remembered, too late, that it was also Arthur’s favorite coffee shop. She remembered this by seeing him walk through the door.

Arthur went up to the counter and ordered his drink, pulling out his phone and not paying attention to the rest of the shop while they steamed his latte.

Gwen slid down in her chair.

“Gwen?”

“Fuck,” she muttered. “Hey, Arthur,” she said with a fake brightness. He walked over to her table and stood awkwardly over her.

“How are you?” He asked, his hand rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

“I’m alright,” Gwen said. “You?”

“Yep, great,” he replied.

Gwen rolled her eyes and motioned to the chair across from her. “You wanna sit?”

“Oh, wouldn’t want to impose,” he started, but Gwen fixed him with a stare and he dropped into the seat. She nodded.

“That’s better. You were giving me quite the krick in my neck,” she tried a smile.

Arthur stared at her until the barista called his name for his latte, at which he jumped up and practically ran to the counter. He took his time adding sugar and then dragged himself back to Gwen’s table.

“You have work to do, I’ll leave you be,” he said awkwardly, once again standing over the table.

“I could use a break,” Gwen said, snapping shut her textbook. “What are you up to?”

Arthur shrugged, looking down at his latte.

“Arthur,” Gwen said, waiting for him to look at her before she continued. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

“Yeah, of course,” Arthur said. “I want to be... friends again.”

“Good,” Gwen smiled.

Arthur just stared again.

Gwen sighed and pulled her phone out. Arthur took it as a cue to pull his own out as well.

_Save me_

She texted quickly to Merlin.

_Arthur just showed up to the café and it’s sooooo awkwarrrrd_

She took a drink of her lukewarm tea and waited for Merlin to text her back.

_Be there in 5_

Gwen sighed at his response.

“So, have you talked to Merlin?”

Arthur choked on his latte and Gwen tried not to smile as she reached over to rub his back while he spluttered.

“No? Why would I talk to Merlin?”

“No reason,” Gwen said, taking another sip of her tea and eying him over the rim. Gwen let him off the hook but enjoyed his blush rising up his cheeks anyways. “Anything else going on?”

Arthur shrugged. Gwen rolled her eyes.

Finally, Merlin burst through the door. Thankfully Arthur’s back was to him and he didn’t see the flustered look he gave Gwen before composing himself.

“Gwen! And Arthur! Didn’t think I’d see you two here!” Merlin approached with a cheery smile.

“Oh, I was just leaving,” Arthur said, reaching for his jacket. Merlin clapped a hand on his shoulder and pushed him back into the chair.

“Nonsense,” Merlin smiled, dropping into the seat beside him. “What are you two talking about?”

“School,” Gwen said, wincing at how awkward it sounded. Better than “sitting in awkward silence” though.

“Fascinating,” Merlin teased. Arthur blushed. Gwen raised an eyebrow at Merlin.

“Gwen, how did you brunch with Morgana go?” Merlin asked lightly.

Gwen gave him a look but answered. “Good, she’s good.”

“That’s good,” Merlin smiled. “Nothing odd at all?”

“No,” Gwen said firmly, widening her eyes at Merlin. “Nothing odd.”

“Because, I was thinking,” Merlin continued, seemingly not hearing Gwen. “Maybe Arthur knows this better, do you think Morgana likes girls?”

Arthur finally looked up at that. “Why would you say that?”

“Just a hunch,” Merlin smiled. “It seemed a lot like she was flirting with – Gwen that was my foot – like she was flirting with _someone_ I know and I was curious. Does she?”

Gwen kicked him under the table again for good measure.

“I think so,” Arthur said slowly. “Who was it?”

“Oh, no one you know,” Merlin flapped his hand.

“Merlin, we know all the same people,” Arthur pressed.

“Nope,” he said, popping the p. “You definitely don’t know her.”

“Merlin,” Arthur whined, drawing out the first syllable.

Gwen just stared at them as Arthur made puppy dog eyes and Merlin smugly smiled and shook his head.

“Okay, you two, that’s enough of that,” Gwen finally interrupted with a smile.

Both of them blushed then.

Arthur coughed. Merlin grinned. Gwen gave him a pointed look.

“So it’s a yes, then?” Merlin asked.

“Huh?”

“I should tell this friend of mine who you definitely don’t know to go for it?”

“Um, yeah, I think she should go for it,” Arthur said. His eyes flicked over to Gwen but returned to Merlin.

“Good,” Merlin said smugly. “Told you I’m always right, Gwen.”

Gwen buried her face in her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me, deciding how many chapters there will be on a fic   
> (now watch me change my mind 5 times)


	7. Chapter 7

Morgana and Gwen decided that they would start their new not-brunch hanging out the traditional college student way. By studying together. But Gwen was still thinking.  

“Hey Morgs?”

“Hmm?” she looked up from her desk at Gwen.

“You were joking about not wanting to be a rebound, right?”

“What?”

“At brunch,” Gwen explained. “You said you didn’t want to be a rebound. And you winked at me. You were just teasing right?”

“Oh, um, yeah, I suppose,” Morgana mumbled, less than her usual eloquence. “I didn’t think you were actually asking me out, it’s okay, Gwen.” She finally looked up to meet her eyes and Gwen felt bold.

“What if I was though?”

Morgana stared at her. “You were... asking me out?”

“Kinda.”

“Kinda? You were or you weren’t, Gwen.”

Gwen took a deep breath. “Can I try something?”

Morgana looked wary but nodded slowly. Gwen got up from the futon and walked over to the desk, giving Morgana every chance to stop her. She raised her hand to Morgana’s cheek, clearly broadcasting her intention as she leaned down to meet Morgana’s lips. Gwen doesn’t think she’s imagining that Morgana tilts her head slightly into Gwen’s touch, and she definitely isn’t imagining that Morgana’s eyes flutter closed when Gwen has almost connected the kiss.

Their noses touched but Gwen doesn’t quite close the last inch; Morgana did. She reached up and gripped the back of Gwen’s neck, deepening the kiss for a moment before breaking apart, breathing fast, and searched Gwen’s face.

Gwen smiled. Morgana smiled back.

“Futon?” Gwen asked, tilting her head in Morgana’s grasp.

“Excellent idea,” Morgana grinned and followed her across the room.

And then they’re making out. Gwen had her fingers buried into Morgana’s hair and Morgana’s fingers were tracing the veins in her neck and she was floating with all the sensations.

_Definitely not straight,_ she thought to herself.

~

When they finally released each other long enough to realize how late it had gotten, Morgana’s hair was completely mussed and Gwen was sure her own is in a similar state.

“I should probably go home,” Gwen murmured, her fingers intertwining in Morgana’s.

“If you must,” Morgana teased, but her posture is a little stiffer than before.

Gwen chalked it up to nerves.

“I’ll text you? Lunch tomorrow?”

Morgana smiled and nodded and her eyes were a little too sad for the expression, but Gwen was too high on her kisses to really take note of it. She just smiled back, leaving one last kiss on Morgana’s lips before gathering her things.

“See you tomorrow, then,” Gwen said with a shy smile.

Morgana just nodded again, hugging Gwen and seeing her out the door. Gwen wasn’t happy to be leaving either but she really should go.

“Bye, Morgs,” she said with a final soft kiss.

“Bye, Gwen,” is all Morgana replied.

~

Gwen collected her lunch and scanned for Morgana, finally spotting her at a small table in the back of the dining hall. She waved and made her way back to her.

“Hi,” Gwen said with a shy smile.

Morgana returned the smile.

“You okay?” Gwen asked.

Morgana flapped a hand. “Just tired. How was class?”

Gwen grinned and launched into a story about her English professor calling a classmate out on his privilege and is happy to see Morgana relax a bit into their usual easy banter.

But when they walked out of the dining hall and Gwen had leaned up for a kiss, Morgana froze again.

“I can’t,” she said.

“What?” Gwen felt her heart plummet into her shoes. “You don’t want to...” she waved ineffectually at the space between their bodies, trying to encompass their – whatever this was.

“I can’t, Gwen. I’m so sorry,” Morgana finally met her eyes.

“Oh.”

“Gwen—“

“No, it’s okay. I’ll, um, see you around then?”

Morgana looked like she had been punched, but she nodded.

Gwen took off in the other direction.


	8. Chapter 8

She went straight to Merlin’s. When he let her in she was quickly losing her battle with her tears and he just folded her into a tight hug and closed the door behind her.

“What happened, sweetie?” he asked when her tears slowed.

“I met Morgana for lunch,” Gwen whispered, her voice hoarse from crying. “She said she can’t do it.”

“Oh, honey,” Merlin sighed, rubbing her back. “Did she say why?”

“No, I ran away,” Gwen confessed. “I didn’t want to cry in front of her.”

“Fair enough.”

They’re both quiet for a moment while Gwen breaths.

“Merlin?”

“Yes, Gwen?”

“I’m ready for that ice cream, now.”

Merlin smiled sadly and got up to fetch it.

“I just don’t understand!” Gwen continued from the sofa. “I told her I wanted to date her. I asked if I could kiss her. She said yes. Twice. Three times if you count the move to the futon.”

“I don’t know, Gwen,” Merlin sighed, reentering the room with two giant bowls of ice cream.

“Was it that I had to leave? I had class early!”

“Maybe.”

“Or maybe it’s just too weird for her with Arthur.”

“Possible.”

“Maybe she just decided she didn’t like me after all,” Gwen sighed.

“I don’t think that’s it.”

“Then what is it? I’m cute, right?”

“Extremely!”

Gwen smiled at him. “You’re a good friend, Merlin. Sorry for dumping all of this on you.”

“That’s what best friends are for,” Merlin said. “Booze with your ice cream?”

“Hell yes.”

~

After a few drinks, they decided to make good use of their buzz. So an hour later, Gwen and Merlin were out dancing again for the second time that week.

 “I should call her!” Gwen shouted over the music.

“I don’t know, Gwen,” Merlin cautioned.

“Yeah, I’m gonna call her!”

Gwen grabbed Merlin’s hand and dragged him to the back hallway where the music was only a dull thump. She pulled her phone out and fumbled with it until she finally connected the call.

“Morgs!”

“Gwen? Where are you?” Morgana answered.

“Dancing!” Gwen shouted.

“Are you drunk?”

“Very!”

“Are you alright, Gwen? Is someone with you?” Morgana asked, a bit of worry in her tone.

“Oh yeah, I have Merlin with me. He’s taking good care of me!” Gwen grinned at Merlin. He returned a pained grimace. “You should come out with us!”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Gwen,” Morgana said carefully.

“You’re probably right. You’re so smart. I’m sorry I kissed you and shit.”

Morgana sighed down the line.

“Drink some water, Gwen.”

“I just really like you, okay?” Gwen barreled on. “And I wanted to kiss you! And you seemed like you wanted to kiss me, too! But I guess you didn’t.”

“Gwen...”

“It’s okay! It really is! I’ll just get over this little crush thing. It’ll be fine.” Gwen was frowning by the end of the sentence.

“I think it’s time to go home, Gwen,” Merlin interrupted, prying the phone from her grasp.

“I’m taking her home, Morgana,” he said into the receiver.

“Thanks, Merlin,” Morgana said. “Take care of her, okay? I’m sorry for the mess.”

“I’ve got her,” Merlin said, smiling sadly at Gwen. He hung up the call.

“I think it’s time to go home, Gwen.”


	9. Chapter 9

Gwen woke up the next morning on Merlin’s couch with a decent hangover but not as bad as it could have been.  

“Merls?” she called, then winced at the volume of her own voice. This was still gonna be a bad day.

She got up and began to make coffee, hoping that it would stop some of the pounding in her head.

When the pot was almost done, Merlin stumbled into the kitchen.

“Morning,” he mumbled, then gasped when he saw the coffee brewing. “You’re a goddess.” He pulled down two mugs and filled them at the coffee pot.

“I drunk dialed Morgana, didn’t I.” It’s not a question, even though Gwen desperately wished it was.

“Yup,” Merlin agreed. “Not one of your smarter moves.”

Gwen groaned.

“Gwen?”

Gwen hummed a response.

“Is this about Arthur?”

“Is what about Arthur?”

“The ice cream and the crying and the drinking. Was this a belated response to the breakup?”

“What?”

“I just,” Merlin sighed. “You didn’t really process that and then the whole thing happened with Morgana and suddenly it was like... like a breakup.”

“Huh,” Gwen paused, letting herself absorb the words. “I guess it was. But it wasn’t about Arthur.”

“Really?”

“I just got my hopes up with this whole Morgana thing. I got so excited and... I really like her, Merlin.”

Merlin hummed and clutched his coffee mug tighter.

“But, you know what this looks like, right?”

“It looks like I told her I liked her and she made out with me and then told me the next day that she couldn’t be with me and I’m really upset about it.” Gwen gave him a pointed look.

“It looks like a rebound. Which is exactly what Morgana didn’t want to be.”

Gwen scowled at him.

“Gwen,” Merlin began again, his face soft. “When you asked her to make out with you...” he trailed off.

“Go on,” Gwen gestured.

“Did you actually... use your words?”

“What? Yeah of course!”

Merlin raised his eyebrows.

“Maybe not... all of them,” she admitted.

“What, exactly, did you say?”

“Something about actually wanting to ask her out? If I could kiss her?”

“Exactly?”

“If I could _try_ kissing her,” Gwen winced at the memory.

“There we go,” Merlin nodded, then clutched his head.

“You need to talk to her,” Merlin said after a moment.

“Yeah,” Gwen sighed.

~

That afternoon she finally texted Morgana.

_Sorry about last night._

_Feeling better today?_ Came the response.

_I’ve been better. But yeah I’m okay._

_It’s good that you processed your feelings though._

_???_

_About Arthur._

“Oh, for fucks sake,” Gwen mumbled.

Merlin looked up from his perch on the sofa.

_Can I call you? Or can I come over?_

_I can come over if you want._ Morgana replied.

_I’m at Merlin’s._

_I’ll be there in 10._

_Okay._

“Put on pants, Merls. Morgana’s coming over.”

Merlin squawked but got up obediently.

~

When Morgana arrived, Merlin let her in.

“Thanks for letting us crash your apartment, Merlin,” Morgana said, ever the gracious guest.

“Anything for Gwen,” Merlin smiled tiredly and waved her through to the couch.

“Hi Morgs,” Gwen smiled and patted the couch next to her.

Morgana joined her and Merlin disappeared into the kitchen.

“It’s come to my attention that maybe I wasn’t entirely clear the other day,” Gwen began.

“About what?”

“About wanting to kiss you,” Gwen explained.

Morgana sighed.

“It’s okay, Gwen,” she begins. “I just really can’t be your experiment or rebound or what have you. I just... I like you too much for that.”

“Morgs,” Gwen sat up straighter, reaching out a hand for Morgana’s, cradling it in both of her own. “That’s what I’m trying to say. This isn’t any of that for me. It’s you. I really like you. That wasn’t just drunk Gwen talking. I really do. And if it’s too weird to date your brother’s ex or whatever I get it, I really do. But I wanted to make sure you knew all the facts first. I like you and I want to date you and kiss you and hold your hand and—“

“You like me?”

Gwen smiled. “I take it back, you’re not that smart after all.” Gwen recalled the conversation the night before. “Yes, I like you. And I should have said that more clearly.”

Morgana huffed but a small smile fought to break through. “Yeah, that would’ve been nice.”

“I’m saying it now,” Gwen smiled. “Do I get points for effort?”

Morgana dropped her annoyed façade and lifted her free hand to Gwen’s cheek. “Alright.”

And then she kissed her.

Gwen sighed into the kiss and wrapped her arm around Morgana. They got rather lost in it until a small sniffle startled them out of their reverie.

“You two are just so sweet!” Merlin said from the doorway to the kitchen with tears in his eyes.

Gwen and Morgana grinned at each other. This was going to work out just fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there'll be a sweet epilogue soon!


	10. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a sweet little epilogue to tie everything up :)

Morgana and Gwen strolled into their favorite brunch spot the next weekend hand in hand, and Gwen thought she had never been happier. She smiled up at Morgana and saw her staring across the restaurant.

“Oh my god,” Morgana said, still staring.

Gwen followed her gaze and saw Merlin and Arthur. Holding Hands. Merlin shifted in his seat as they watched and leaned in to kiss Arthur.

“Oh my god!” Gwen echoed, and both boys snapped to stare at her.

Morgana laughed and pulled Gwen over to their table.

“Hello, boys,” she smirked.

“Merlin why didn’t you tell me?” Gwen added.

“Um,” Merlin said.

“Eloquent,” Arthur snorted.

“Seriously, when did this happen?” Gwen interrupted them making eyes at each other again.

“Well,” Merlin began, seeming to confirm with Arthur telepathically before finally meeting Gwen’s eyes. “That day at the café? When you texted me to come save you from the awkwardness?”

“That’s why you were there?” Arthur interrupted. Merlin patted him on the cheek and continued.

“He had kinda just come from mine,” Merlin finishes.

“It was nine in the morning!” Gwen protested.

“I didn’t say when he _got_ to mine, did I?” Merlin smirked. Arthur blushed.

“Oh my god!” Morgana yelled again.

“No wonder you were so awkward,” Gwen laughed at Arthur. “Or so surprised when Merlin showed up!”

“Sorry, Gwen,” Arthur mumbled to his lap.

“Arthur, darling, you do know I’m here on a date with your sister, right?”

Arthur, if possible, blushed darker, eyes snapping to Morgana’s.

Morgana’s laugh was the most beautiful thing Gwen had ever heard.

“Come along, Gwen dear, let’s leave these two to moon over each other in peace. I’m not quite ready to double date with my brother.” She winked at the boys. “Ta!”

Gwen followed her to their own table and settled in to do some mooning of her own. They’d be alright after all.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! any time i have a reason to right two girls in love you know i'm going to. you can find me on tumblr at merlinisnotover. the world needs more lesbians in my queer opinion.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr at merlinisnotover (because i'm still in denial)  
> 


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